> I hate it soooooooo much when Chris starts to talk in Hokkien,
I barely understand a word that he is trying to say!!
Bcoz of that,
I've tried to learn Hokkien.

>Now i would like to present,
Serena's Guide To Hokkien!

> If you're getting your ass grilled in Hokkien,
try some of these useful tips and phrases.

> "Soli (Sorry), wa beh hiao kong Hokkien."
-Sorry, I don't speak Hokkien

> "Lu eh bi kana sai."
-You smell like poop

> "Wahlaueh."
-Term used to portray shock or awe.

> The phrase "Wa si lu lao beh",
can be used when confronted with the question: "Who do you think you are?!"
For example:
Person: RAHRAHRAHRAHRAH! *Bites your head off in Hokkien*
You: *Indignant face*
Person: WAH! NO RESPECT AT ALL! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?
This is where the line comes in handy.
You: WA SI LU LAO BEH!
- "I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Ehem.

>If you opt for a distraction technique.. go for:"Jia ba bue?"
-Have you eaten yet?
This will confuse the scolder into talking about food, just like all Chinese people do.
Person: Hokkien, Hokkien, Hokkien.. Blah blah blah.
You: Jia ba bue?
Person: Yahor. I not yet eat leh.
*Stalks off to find food and forgets about scolding you*

> And if THAT doesn't work...
Run away with your arms flailing in the air for dramatic effect.
Scream and don't forget to trip a few times.
When you get up, pause...
Look around, dust yourself off.
Then start running again.
Person who was scolding you would now shake his/her head in confusion going.."
Wah biang eh. Siao ah?"

p/s: its just a guide, my advice, DONT USE THESE TECHNIQUES IN REAL LIFE SITUATION.

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